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Annoying things.....

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    Annoying things.....

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

    #2
    Annoying things.....

    Those were so darn good! I am laughing hysterically!!

    Number 5 - ANNOYS THE CRAP OUT OF ME. Whether I am watching a program or a movie - my other half asks me that STUPID question all of the time............... "did yo see that?" Like DUH - I am watching it aren't I??? Of course I saw it! Geesh!

    Or when they have to repeat what the guy just said. HELLO!!!! No need for you to repeat every word, I am listening to it! Shut up already - Good Grief!

    Thank God for two TV's ;-)

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      #3
      Annoying things.....

      LOL!!! The first one made me laugh so hard. I am going to start doing it!
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

      Comment


        #4
        Annoying things.....

        I agree I love the first one!!! Of course I love sarcasm, not one of my more becoming traits... but it is what it is! Tammy

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          #5
          Annoying things.....

          noice
          "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

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            #6
            Annoying things.....

            I don't want to stick my nose in where it's not wanted but.........

            B

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              #7
              Annoying things.....

              LOL Phoenix!!!
              I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                #8
                Annoying things.....

                he he Lushy :-)

                B

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                  #9
                  Annoying things.....

                  OMG those are excellent, I have to hold mysefl back daily from saying..."here's your sign" the idiot sign. I love those!
                  "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                    #10
                    Annoying things.....

                    Good stuff! I wish I could offer a witty comeback but I am lame.

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                      #11
                      Annoying things.....

                      If it's not one thing it's another.
                      Marcie

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                        #12
                        Annoying things.....

                        Had a really good laugh.
                        Lori
                        *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

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                          #13
                          Annoying things.....

                          Carlin

                          This is really best if heard on a recording or live, but its pretty comprehensive, so here goes:
                          anal rape
                          quicksand
                          body lice
                          evil spirits
                          gridlock
                          acid rain
                          continental drift
                          labor violence
                          flash floods
                          rabies
                          torture
                          bad luck
                          calcium deficiency
                          falling rocks
                          cattle stampedes
                          bank failure
                          evil neighbors
                          killer bees
                          organ rejection
                          lynching
                          toxic waste
                          unstable dynamite
                          religious fanatics
                          prickly heat
                          price fixing
                          moral decay
                          hotel fires
                          loss of face
                          stink bombs
                          bubonic plague
                          neo-Nazis
                          friction
                          cereal weevils
                          failure of will
                          chain reactions
                          soil erosion
                          mail fraud
                          dry rot
                          voodoo curses
                          broken glass
                          snake bites
                          parasites
                          white slavery
                          public ridicule
                          faithless friends
                          random violence
                          breach of contract
                          family scandals
                          charlatans
                          transverse militias
                          structural defects
                          race riots
                          sun spots
                          rogue elephants
                          wax buildup
                          killer frost
                          jealous coworkers
                          root canals
                          mental fatigue
                          corporal punishment
                          sneak attacks
                          peer pressure
                          vigilantes
                          birth defects
                          false advertising
                          ungrateful children
                          financial ruin
                          mildew
                          loss of priveleges
                          bad drugs
                          ill-fitting shoes
                          widespread chaos
                          stray bullets
                          runaway trains
                          chemical spills
                          locusts
                          airline food
                          shipwrecks
                          prowlers
                          bathtub accidents
                          faulty merchandise
                          terrorism
                          discrimination
                          wrongful cremation
                          carbon deposits
                          beef tapeworms
                          taxation without representation
                          escaped maniacs
                          sunburn
                          abandonment
                          threatening letters
                          entropy
                          nine-mile fever
                          poor workmanship
                          absentee landlord
                          solitary confinement
                          depletion of the ozone layer
                          unworthiness
                          intestinal bleeding
                          defrocked priests
                          loss of equilibrium
                          disgruntled employees
                          global warming
                          card sharks
                          poisoned meat
                          nuclear accidents
                          broken promises
                          contamination of the water supply
                          obscene phone calls
                          nuclear winter
                          wayward girls
                          mutual assured destruction
                          rampaging moose
                          the greenhouse effect
                          cluster headaches
                          social isolation
                          Dutch elm disease
                          contraction of the universe
                          paper cuts
                          eternal damnation
                          the wrath of God
                          PARANOIA!

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