Laughing at yourself!

[Rags]

Laughing at yourself!

Geez Tea,
Even here in Oz I know what a drammie, hogmanay, first footing and thingummies are....a bit like whatsits.
You could really cause confusion by mentioning that you play ceol mor.

[Cinders]

Laughing at yourself!

Darn, I never know what you guys are talking about from down under or UK or anywhere else but USA for that matter...

However, I did very much enjoy the vid.

Sending link to hubby, he will appreciate it, too, even though he doesn't drink....

Thanks Hippie!!

Cindi

[Cinders]

Laughing at yourself!

BB,

I can SOOO relate to drinking the two bottles in ten minutes and then crawling up on the table to sleep.

It is funny but then it isn't. sigh.

Last time I drank two bottles in an hour, I ended up trying to go to bed (blacked out, do not remember a thing) and my hubby said I was pulling off clothes and glasses and hit the tile floor face first.

I STILL have the bruise on my knee, and that was in July or August. Geez.

He was pretty p#ssed at me for it. I DO remember that!!

Love,
Cindi

[12many]

Laughing at yourself!

Indiana Chuck

OK, Betty, your story is simply outrageous and I think its proof that laughter is a part of the healing process.

Cindi - I'm debating going for a message tonight, but I'll have to think up a story for the long row of scratches up my back. I wish they looked more like fingernails and less like a toilet seat lid - be more macho (not to mention dignified) that way.

Its Friday and time for a sea story, I think.

This one stars one of my shipmates more than myself, but I was right there with him. Once upon a time, we pulled into delightful Port Canaveral, directly adjacent to Fort Lauderdale after several weeks at sea working up for reactor safety inspections (woe be unto the boat that fails these). The bull nuke had us on something he called the ?vulcan death watch? which was a rotation where you ran as many drills as possible, got just barely enough sleep to stay alive and only had time for green baloney to eat. You get to the point where you can nearly restart the reactor in your sleep and you lose track of what day it is.

So, into Ft. Laud to do what comes natural to sailors in port. Some of you can imagine, others needn?t bother cuz the most relevant outcome is all of us finding our way ? alone or in groups - back to the boat in various degrees of drunkenness. For some unfathomable reason, this base will not allow taxis on base, so you get dropped at the gate and have to walk a mile to the boat. Well my companions and I had done ourselves proud and were barely ambulatory. Very soon into our walk, it started to rain which was just fine by me because I spent a good deal of the walk shouting at my shoes and a good florida rain can clean that right off. Across the brow, down the hatch and into my rack. Mission accomplished.

Now, Chuck was not as fortunate. Separated from any compatriots, he gets through the gate, but can?t quite make it the whole mile, so he settles into some bushes for a little nappy. He got up, walked some more and passed out again about three times. He made it across the brow around sun-up, wet and covered in leaves and twigs. The kicker was that one of his naps had taken place on or near a red ant hill. Poor chuck.

So, for the rest of the underway the topside watch recounted the story of chuck?s appearance again and again. For his bush-whacking safari adventure, he was renamed Indiana Chuck. He was covered with ant bites and tried so hard to hide his scratching, but to no avail. It was a long voyage home for chuck.

So fast-forward a few weeks. Back home at the mall with the wife having lunch in the food court and who comes strolling up but Chuck. Sarah recognizes the face, but she doesn?t know his name. He and my wife exchange pleasantries and we chat for a bit, then sarah, out of the blue says ?did you hear about that dummy who passed out on an ant hill in port in florida??. Said it so quick there was no time to kick her under the table. Chuck turns red, pulls down his sleeves a little more and scratches a bit at his wrist and soon finds some pressing need to leave. Bye, Chuck. Nice one, honey.

So, that's the story of Indiana Chuck. Doesn't make me miss drinking one stinkin bit.

It?s a little dangerous to start a trend like this. Sea stories, that is. You see, Chief was in the navy, too. He was an Airdale (naval aviator). They are well mannered and polite types especially when compared to Bubbleheads (submariners) and he?s more likely to make you blush with a frightening tale of someone eating their salad with their shrimp fork.uch:

[hippie37]

Laughing at yourself!

Hippie and his magic bike!

Hey Boop!

Here's my "not funny then....funny now!" story. I finally decided that of all my drunken mishaps the most stupidest things I did was when I was on my mountain bike. so bearing that in mind this ones called:

"Hippie and his magic bike"


(No relation to Jamie and his magic torch)

After a really busy Friday afternoon in work, staring out of the window, I decided to head to one of the many, many pubs in the center of Lancaster (which is where I lived at the time while working in Caernforth at the Pine Lake Resort dealing with Timeshare Exchanges). I'd already been out to the pub at lunchtime with a few mates from work and so had already downed 3 pints, which by 5.30 were starting to wear off and make me feel really tired. So I pulled up outside the pub and locked my bike to the metal railings at the front of the pub, in full view, and proceeded indoors to enjoy myself.

I woke up late Saturday afternoon (as you do!) naked and with an almighty hangover and feeling really ill. I still had no idea how I made it back to my flat the previous night and couldn't remember a thing!. I was too ill to even bother with thinking about it so I went back to sleep with the TV on in the background. I finally got up about 8.00pm and although I was still feeling really ill and dehydrated I decided to go to the off license and get a few cans and come back and watch a movie or something. I came downstairs after getting dressed and to my horror my bike was nowhere to be seen. I knocked on the door of the couple who had the downstairs flat to me and asked if they had seen my bike. Andy looked quite bemused and said that I hadn't come in on my bike last night but I made one hell of a racket trying to get up the stairs. He then told me that I had fallen asleep on the stairs and my snoring was that loud that him and his missus had taken me up to my flat and put me to bed. "Shit but I was naked this morning" I thought to myself. This was getting really bad now, what the hell was I doing last night and where was my bike. I apologised to Andy and went back upstairs to think............The obvious answer was I'd left my bike locked up outside the pub................The only question was I had absolutely no idea which one!!!!. I eventually started to thinking that my bike MUST of been stolen which was why I had to walk home. Although I was still pissed off about it (and still wondering whether Andy and his missus Caroline had seen me naked) my thoughts were also wondering "how the hell was I going to get into work on Monday morning." I legged it down the phone-box and called a friend (work colleague) hoping to get a lift, which, I was lucky enough to get if I walked to her house. Phew! at least I'd got work sorted out so I decided to get pissed again and drown me sorrows at the flat.

Monday came and I eventually got ready to leave the house. I left a lot earlier than usual as I had a 15 min walk through Lancaster and I also wanted to avoid 'them downstairs'. I still couldn't quite face them both yet!! Anyway I'm walking through town peering outside every pub, still hoping for a miracle that my bike was still locked up outside one of them. As I got closer and closer to one pub I could see this shape that didn't look like my bike but still had familiar colours from a distance. The closer I got to it though I finally realised that it WAS my bike............Well it was my bike frame anyway!!!!. Everything had been stripped from the bike that could be (even the pedals) and what they couldn't take they had vandalised the frame beyond repair. I was gob-smacked. To end this little story I still had the key to the D-lock so I unlocked that, left the frame where it was, and continued walking to my friends house with one D-lock in tact!!!. I later found out that I must of got up in the night and undressed and got back into bed but Andy and Caroline kept me stewing for ages over that one!!.

Anyway bikes and me don't mix when I'm drunk. I've had major surgery on my eye-socket when I crashed into a metal gate-post which involved placing degradable plates around the socket. I also had to have all my 4 wisdom teeth out, at the same time as this, in case any infection spread during surgery I needed on my mouth as well.
I once fell asleep while riding my bike and ended up flat out on a duel carriageway. someone finally called an ambulance and the police arrived not soon after that.
After I was brought round and checked out I was told to walk my bike home. I got a few yards past the ambulance and got on my bike and fell straight back off. (I thought the police couldn't see me you see because I was invisible YEAH RIGHT)!!!. I was arrested and charged and had to appear in court.
There are just so many more stories about me and my magic bike and although it was not always the same bike. The same kindrid spirit was felt with all of them during my drunken years!!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
XX

[paula]

Laughing at yourself!

I had to give a talk on anorexia, I was so nervous I had a bottle of wine before. I did the
talk and can't remember most of it, afterwards people came up and said how good and
interesting it had been. Nobody seemed to notice ! was I good or were they merely being
polite. ? Not sure, but I still have a job.!!
Paula.xx

[12many]

Laughing at yourself!

Thanks for the tale, Hip. Getting less and less thirsty all the time. Sounds like we're lucky to have the pleasure of your company at all!

Be strong through the weekend!

Cheers,
Dave

[12many]

Laughing at yourself!

Paula-

We all hope that we were eloquent when we run back over an evening and have time pieces missing. Evidently you were so leanred on your subject that it came right through. Bravo! Most of us have had quite the opposite experience....

Glad you still have your job and here's to keeping it!

BTW, how do you know you are at a bulimic's birthday party? The cake jumps out of the girl!!

Cheers,
Dave

[hippie37]

Laughing at yourself!

You would think I would of learned my lesson sooner, wouldn't you, before smashing my face up. I was able to be honest with myself though early on in my drinking days by not learning to drive. I knew I liked getting drunk, even though i didn't see it as a problem then, too much and I could see I would be a danger to myself and others on the road. I know for a fact I'm very lucky Dave, if I were able to drive I would be dead now. Still, a big idiot for thinking a bike could be any different than a car in the hands of a drunk.
Ya gotta laugh!!!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[paula]

Laughing at yourself!

My experience was a few years ago, yes I still have my job, fortunately it wasn't in a work
setting, but the memory still makes me cringe. Another thing I would do is lose things, and
not dare ask my family if they had found them, keys etc. would turn up in the most unusual
places. Iv'e even bought gifts and forgot about them.

[hippie37]

Laughing at yourself!

I Am Not Reliant on Alcohol (Dave Allen) | Bar, Alcohol, Drinking | Funny Videos, Pictures and Jokes at JibJab

[hippie37]

Laughing at yourself!

[12many]

Laughing at yourself!

Got a little captain in ya? yikes.

[beatle]

Laughing at yourself!

never mind.

[hippie37]

Laughing at yourself!

A cross-section survey of 1000 people in the UK ,
made up of Afghans, Pakistanis, Indians, Poles,
Iraqis, Somalis, Africans, Albanians, Bosnians, Turks,
Geordies, Brummies, Glaswegians and Liverpudlians
were asked if they thought Britain should change its
currency to the Euro.

99% said no, they were happy with the Giro.