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Why women shouldn't take men shopping!

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    Why women shouldn't take men shopping!

    Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to WalMart. He gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below:

    Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
    Wal-Mart:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares.....and watched what happened.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible " theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    And last, but not least

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
    Suddenly I see
    This is what I want to be
    suddenly I see
    Why the hell it means so much to me.

    -KT Tunstall

    #2
    Why women shouldn't take men shopping!

    :H Well, really, what did she expect? Doesnt she know that you never, ever, take your husbands shopping with you? Recipe for disaster!
    The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

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      #3
      Why women shouldn't take men shopping!

      I will NEVER show this to my husband-- would give him too many ideas. Won't be showing it to the kids, either.
      Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

      Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

      Comment


        #4
        Why women shouldn't take men shopping!

        OH, I KNOW A GUY JUST LIKE THAT.... LOL
        *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

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