Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call, the officer
noticed a man leaving the bar who was so intoxicated that he could
barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few
minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five
different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.
He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the
window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other
patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and
drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on
and off (it was a fine, dry summer night), flicked the blinkers on,
then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the
lights. He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle
forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a
few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking
lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having
patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on
the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out
a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no
evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded,
the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to
Headquarters.
This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken.' 'I doubt it,' said the
truly proud Newfoundlander, 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.
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