NOAH IN 2007...
>
>
>
>Noah in 2005
>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
>United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
>overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
>
>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
>good humans."
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
>Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
>- but no Ark.
>
>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
>for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
>neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
>the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>
>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
>clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
>sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
>trees in order to save the tawny frog. I tried to convince the
>environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the tawny frogs - but no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
>They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
>an Environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>
>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
>Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of
>most of the people who want to work.
>
>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
>only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>
>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
>trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
>finish this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
>mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
>
>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
>
>
>
>Noah in 2005
>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
>United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
>overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
>
>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
>good humans."
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
>Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
>- but no Ark.
>
>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
>for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
>neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
>the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>
>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
>clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
>sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
>trees in order to save the tawny frog. I tried to convince the
>environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the tawny frogs - but no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
>They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
>an Environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>
>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
>Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of
>most of the people who want to work.
>
>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
>only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>
>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
>trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
>finish this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
>mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
>
>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."