Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which
once again asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
@#%$.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers
are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how
much weight one has gained.
3 abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9 flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men.
once again asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
@#%$.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers
are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how
much weight one has gained.
3 abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9 flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men.
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