Pet's Diary

[Guest]

THE DOG'S DIARY:


7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!


THE CAT'S DIARY:

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time...

[Guest]

Pet's Diary

I'm still laughing!
We had to give our cat to my sister a couple years ago. My husband called the cat "the jerk" because the cat DID have a conspiracy theory to torture us and escape!! He would get out and roll around on the neighbor's porch becuase it would make their yappy dogs go insane... so the neighbors complained to us.
We then had to thwart each of Brutus the cat's attempts to get outside. He rebelled by sh*tting in the plants and the final straw... get this...
Hubby was brushing his teeth one morning. Brutus jumped up into the sink beside hubby, squatted, looked hubby squarely in the eyes and peed.

Brutus now lives in a lovely country home where he is free to roam.:rollin :rollin :

[Guest]

Pet's Diary

That's hilarious! I've had good cats & bad cats.:evil Have always had great doggies!:b

[Guest]

Pet's Diary

Pet's Diary

Hysterical!! Our cat's name is Ivy - Enough said! :rollin
Hugs, Mary

[Guest]

Pet's Diary

Tawny, this is still cracking me up every time I think of it since reading it days ago!
I had to check my cat's diary just to make sure he wasn't plotting his escape! I don't want to lose my baby :eek Sure enough, he writes that he's content with his rare steak while I eat my dry cereal. Then at the end of each entry he writes "Who's the Man!"

Deirdre:lol

[Guest]

Pet's Diary

I'm still laughing also.....Love it! I have a dog and cat....sorry to say that we are down from 2 dogs and two cats, we all get old! So the two that I have left I can just see them in this! Other than the cat would always come back (she does get out, yet still comes back....lol) Lannie, my dog, does love her car rides and her belly rubbed, she is 10 1/2 years old, lazy....the cat has more spunk and she is 12! Loved the joke will print it out for the kids!

Thanks a Bunch!
~Tammie