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    Vaseline!

    Subject: Vaseline



    Shawn wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.



    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.



    It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.



    He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.



    'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'



    And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.



    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.



    New Roman;">But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'



    'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'



    'No problem,' he says. And in they go.



    Shawn is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.



    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.



    They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.



    As dinner progresses, Shawn decides to take advantage of the situation.



    So he leans over and kisses Sandra.



    -size: 12px;">No one says a word.



    So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.



    Still, nobody says a word.



    So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom.



    'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.



    Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.



    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.



    Shawn remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, 'Hey, no problem, I'll do the fuckin' dishes!'
    *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

    #2
    Vaseline!

    I'd have caved too! LOL

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      #3
      Vaseline!

      THATS A GOOD ONE LOL
      Jacqui xxx
      Mwo,s worst speller....

      Comment


        #4
        Vaseline!

        "OMG that is shocking! You wicked person! such filth!!! I shall retire to bed I think with a good book.......truly shocking............" Not f***'n likely Best joke I've heard in ages lori!!

        Love and Happiness
        Hippie
        xx
        "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
        Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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          #5
          Vaseline!

          Vasaline....Yes....the lubricant for all uses IAD !
          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
          Dr. Seuss

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