Thanks to the
> church ladies
> with typewriters, these sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
> were announced in church services:
>
> --------------------------
>
> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon
>
> tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
>
> --------------------------
>
> Ladies, don 't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
> those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
> someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care
> much about you.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
> obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>
> --------------------------
>
> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> nursery downstairs.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
> help they can get.
>
> --- -----------------------
>
> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
> church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
> --------------------------
>
> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
>
> Music will follow.
>
> --------------------------
>
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
> Hell?'
>
> Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
> several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
> --------------------------
&g t;
> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
> person you want remembered.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
> and gracious hostility.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
> may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>
> --------------------------
>
> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
> from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
> are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation
> would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
> Sunday.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
> the back door.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
> Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
> this tragedy.
> church ladies
> with typewriters, these sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
> were announced in church services:
>
> --------------------------
>
> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon
>
> tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
>
> --------------------------
>
> Ladies, don 't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
> those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
> someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care
> much about you.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
> obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>
> --------------------------
>
> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> nursery downstairs.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
> help they can get.
>
> --- -----------------------
>
> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
> church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
> --------------------------
>
> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
>
> Music will follow.
>
> --------------------------
>
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
> Hell?'
>
> Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
> several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
> --------------------------
&g t;
> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
> person you want remembered.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
> and gracious hostility.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
> may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>
> --------------------------
>
> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
> from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
> are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation
> would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
> Sunday.
>
> --------------------------
>
> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
> the back door.
>
> --------------------------
>
> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
> Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
> this tragedy.
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