I used to eat a lot of natural foods until
I learned that most people die of natural
causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way
to make sure you are removing a weed and
not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
alive anyway.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here
and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken
there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes
outta its butt.'
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when
you get undressed if he's going to look up there
anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your
email address ?
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