POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
When I went for my mammogram appointment. I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her
head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear? '
I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said,
'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'
'Fine,' I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob
wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard,
then felt a zap! Complete darkness as the power went off!
'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door.
'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy... the door's wide open
so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked,
one part of me hanging from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or
possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calm as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'!
'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been
standing in the line at the grocery store.
Half an hour later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!'
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between those clamps........
When I went for my mammogram appointment. I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her
head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear? '
I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said,
'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'
'Fine,' I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob
wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard,
then felt a zap! Complete darkness as the power went off!
'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door.
'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy... the door's wide open
so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked,
one part of me hanging from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or
possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calm as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'!
'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been
standing in the line at the grocery store.
Half an hour later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!'
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between those clamps........
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