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The Tesco Doctor

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    The Tesco Doctor

    One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,

    'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

    Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

    There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample

    and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and

    better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.

    So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.

    He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the

    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy

    activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack

    began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples

    from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture

    for

    good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would

    happen.

    He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the

    results with a grin. The computer prints the following:

    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit Get her into rehab.

    4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

    get better....




    Thank you for shopping at Tesco
    "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
    Clean and sober 25th January 2009

    #2
    The Tesco Doctor

    He heeee... that got a chortle from me.
    Thanks Hippie!:H

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      #3
      The Tesco Doctor

      Love it. Please Dolphin - never too rude to post!!!
      Lila

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