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One Liners / Keep 'em goin...
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One Liners / Keep 'em goin...
Heres a few one liners from Steven Wright (the master of one-liners!)
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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One Liners / Keep 'em goin...
I'm normal in MY world, not normal in others... so what? LOL
Love one liners - keep them coming.
No-One can make you feel inferior without your permission. - love that one and I have blatantly stolen in from another member.
LxRather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......
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One Liners / Keep 'em goin...
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
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One Liners / Keep 'em goin...
What do you call a man with a seagul on his head?
CLIFF
boom boom, "it's the way ae tell em!!!""Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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