Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word.
17. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
16. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
15. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
14. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
13. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
12. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
11. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
8. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
7. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
6. Glibido: All talk and no action.
5. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
4. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
3. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
2. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
#1 pick: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arzole.
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