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I LOVE MY JOB!!!

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    I LOVE MY JOB!!!

    This is even funnier when you realize it's real. next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

    Hi, Sue,
    Just a note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

    Before i tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

    This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver thru a hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sound like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped in into my suit.

    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

    I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry compression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put othe fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.:upset:

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up you arse. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    #2
    I LOVE MY JOB!!!

    Oh, that IS bad!
    Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

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      #3
      I LOVE MY JOB!!!

      OMG!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha poor chap
      nosce te ipsum
      (Know Thyself)

      Comment


        #4
        I LOVE MY JOB!!!

        LMAO!!!

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          #5
          I LOVE MY JOB!!!

          Just thinking about the worst and dirtiest jobs to have.
          In the early 1980's, before health and safety became an issue, I worked with the town council, cutting grass and cleaning gardens for new tenants. Petrol driven weedeaters and brushcutters had just come out and I was given the task of tidying up around all the grass panels that were our responsibility. With no face mask or cover-alls I went on my merry way.
          Along the edges, next to lampposts especially, there were clumps of lusher grass. After cutting through these verdant clumps and being covered in a foul smelling substance, it didn't take me long to realise that these were places that dogs had recently crapped.
          On other occasions, we were sent into overgrown gardens to tidy them up. Once, in a particularly overgrown yard, I hit something very mussy and was splattered by what turned out to be a dead cat.
          Another time I hit a garbage bag that was full (not for the faint-hearted) of used sanitary towels. The previous tenant must have just been thowing them out into the garden. Fortunately, by this time, if I hit anything, I had learned to stop licking my lips.

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            #6
            I LOVE MY JOB!!!

            Oh My,That would be painful and embarassing...BOTH.I am a diver and have surfaced in a school of jelly's, once.The dive master went and took a pee,in a cup and wiped me down with it...Sounds gross now but at the time I would have done almost anything to stop the burning...Great story, RUBY..
            sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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              #7
              I LOVE MY JOB!!!

              lol thats a good one thank goodness i t was just his butt hahha gyco

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                #8
                I LOVE MY JOB!!!

                Ouch!!!

                Hey Evie,
                Does the urine stop the sting? I have just started diving, and when I go up to the tropics I'll sometimes be wearing panty hose instead of a wetsuit. But any helpful advise will be most welcome.
                Box Jelly Fish, dangers on the great barrier reef

                Popeye, there are some gross people out there.

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                  #9
                  I LOVE MY JOB!!!

                  Yep, pee helps. So does vinegar. We were in SC. I was calling to my hub to come in the water. Freinds were watching... laughing... I was playing about, making fun of him, calling him a big sissy because he wouldn't get in and ZAP! BAM! DANG! Got plastered by a jelly all around my thigh. It got wrapped around me! OMG! Mr. Best got quit a chuckle out of the whole thing. Thought I was being justifiably punished for being a smart A$$! He would have been only too happy to pee on me... LOL! I opted for vinegar, thank you very much!
                  "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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                    #10
                    I LOVE MY JOB!!!

                    1000 posts best......
                    Yipee!!!!

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                      #11
                      I LOVE MY JOB!!!

                      Dear BEST,1000 posts...Great job.Yes, Pee helps and meat tenderizer(which i always carry after the Pee thingy)..
                      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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