Things to Think About

[tlrgs]

Things to Think About



Here are some things to consider...


Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but
it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


How come we choose from just two people for President
and fifty for Miss America?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.


If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out!"


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?


Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


When your photo is taken for your driver's license,
why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by
the police and asked for your license, are you going
to be smiling?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the
time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask
where the bathroom is?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!


What do you call male ballerinas?


Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?


If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?


Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a
mouse?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a
car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

enjoy your day stay strong and think positive everyone ..

[tlrgs]

Things to Think About

football in bed

football in bed




An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

[tlrgs]

Things to Think About

boys and girls




"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.

14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

[Mackeral]

Things to Think About

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?


I hear that one...

Nice posts...Loved em:l