If you stay home and do the housework - you're a pansy.
If you work too hard - there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough - you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay - this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay - you should get off your a_se and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her - that is favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you - it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks - it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet - it's male indifference.
If you cry - you're a wimp.
If you don't - you're an insensitive b@stard.
If you make a decision without consulting her - you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you - she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy - that's domination.
If SHE asks you - it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear - you're a pervert.
If you don't - you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape - you're sexist.
If you don't - you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape - you're vain.
If you don't - you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers - you're after something.
If you don't - you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements - you're full of yourself.
If you're not proud - you aren't ambitious.
If she has a headache - she's tired.
If you have a headache - you don't love her anymore.
Men can NEVER win.
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