Douglas the crab
Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were
madly, deeply and passionately in Love.
For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day
Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears.
We can't see each other any more ..." she sobbed.
"Why ?" gasped Douglas .
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims
you are a mere crab; a poor one at that and crabs are the lowest class
of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can
only walk sideways."
Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sideways into the darkness
to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters
came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster
Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's
side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in.
The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King
Lobster rose from his throne.
Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the
floor .....and all could see that he was walking, not sideways .... but
FORWARDS...
Yes FORWARDS ! One claw after another !!!
Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he
looked the King lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush ..........
Finally, Douglas spoke ..........
"F*#k, I'm pissed."
Opinions are like armpits, every one has two of them and they both stink.
Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were
madly, deeply and passionately in Love.
For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day
Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears.
We can't see each other any more ..." she sobbed.
"Why ?" gasped Douglas .
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims
you are a mere crab; a poor one at that and crabs are the lowest class
of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can
only walk sideways."
Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sideways into the darkness
to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters
came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster
Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's
side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in.
The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King
Lobster rose from his throne.
Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the
floor .....and all could see that he was walking, not sideways .... but
FORWARDS...
Yes FORWARDS ! One claw after another !!!
Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he
looked the King lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush ..........
Finally, Douglas spoke ..........
"F*#k, I'm pissed."
Opinions are like armpits, every one has two of them and they both stink.
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