Here are six reasons why you should
think before you speak -
the last one is
great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that
you could
immediately take the words
back...
or that you could crawl into a
hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few
people who did....
FIRST
TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my
husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out
and never went back
My husband didn't say a
word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing
different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type
I had been using.
After browsing for several
minutes,
I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help
me.
Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, 'I think I like playing with men 's
balls .
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall
and
passed by a store that sold
a
variety of candy and
nuts.
As we were looking at the display
case,
the boy behind the counter asked if
we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at
your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh
hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me
forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY
:
While in line at the bank one
afternoon,
my toddler decided to
release
some pent-up energy and ran
amok.
I was finally able to grab hold
of
her after receiving looks of
disgust
and annoyance from other
patrons.
I told her that if she did not start
behaving
'right now' she would be
punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the
eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they
were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity
and
walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a
question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of
problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining
room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something
funny,
so of course I
checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was
clean.
The realized that
Danny
had not asked to go potty in a
while.
I asked him if he needed to
go,
and he said 'No'
.
I kept thinking
'Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said,
'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have
an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time,
'Danny did you have an accident ?This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to
death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and
sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of
Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news
anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before
she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow
but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the
set,
but half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard!
think before you speak -
the last one is
great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that
you could
immediately take the words
back...
or that you could crawl into a
hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few
people who did....
FIRST
TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my
husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out
and never went back
My husband didn't say a
word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing
different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type
I had been using.
After browsing for several
minutes,
I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help
me.
Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, 'I think I like playing with men 's
balls .
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall
and
passed by a store that sold
a
variety of candy and
nuts.
As we were looking at the display
case,
the boy behind the counter asked if
we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at
your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh
hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me
forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY
:
While in line at the bank one
afternoon,
my toddler decided to
release
some pent-up energy and ran
amok.
I was finally able to grab hold
of
her after receiving looks of
disgust
and annoyance from other
patrons.
I told her that if she did not start
behaving
'right now' she would be
punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the
eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they
were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity
and
walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a
question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of
problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining
room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something
funny,
so of course I
checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was
clean.
The realized that
Danny
had not asked to go potty in a
while.
I asked him if he needed to
go,
and he said 'No'
.
I kept thinking
'Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said,
'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have
an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time,
'Danny did you have an accident ?This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to
death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and
sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of
Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news
anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before
she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow
but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the
set,
but half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard!
Comment