A guy wakes up after a real bender, and finds himself naked on the floor of his house. On looking closely, he discovers his penis has two rings around it, one red and one brown. He rushes to the doctor, and explains he has no idea what he's done the last two days and shows the doctor the rings, so the doctor tests them. He comes back to the man after the tests are done, and tells him, "Well, sir, I have the results back, and I have good news and I have bad news."
"Oh my god, doc, what is it!" asks the nervous man.
Answers the doctor, "Well, the good news is the red ring is lipstick. The bad news is the brown one is chewing tobacco."
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