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    Mammogram

    Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
    worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam
    and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the
    test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and
    around your home.

    EXERCISE ONE:
    Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the
    door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold
    that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time
    wasn't effective enough.

    EXERCISE TWO:
    Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
    just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
    with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
    slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
    chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

    EXERCISE THREE:
    Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
    stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
    Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment
    with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

    YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
    AND, just a thought for all the women out there...MENtal illness,
    MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause... Ever notice how all of
    women's problems start with men?...And, when we have real trouble it's
    HISterectomy! !!!

    Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a
    mammogram!!! !!!

    A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
    Hard to Find
    Supportive
    Comfortable
    Always Lifts You Up
    Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And ..........
    Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

    Share this with a friend, I did!
    If alcohol made you happy I should be the happiest person alive! I'm not.

    #2
    Mammogram

    OMG, I'm scheduled for one on April Fool's Day!
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

    Comment


      #3
      Mammogram

      Sunny, send a man in your place. That's a good April Fool's joke! Love to see them get one of theirs in that torture device!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

      Comment

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