*You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
*You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
*Job interfering with your drinking.
*Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
*Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
*The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
*Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
*24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
*Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
*You can focus better with one eye closed.
*The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
*Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
*Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
*Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
*At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
*Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
*You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.
*The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
:H
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