Here are some things that we have learned from the movies:
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
You're likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one-by-one, while dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
You're likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one-by-one, while dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps
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