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Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

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    Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

    Mary had a little pig,
    She kept it fat and plastered;
    And when the price of pork went up,
    She shot the little bastard.
    ********************

    Mary had a little lamb.
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    Between two hunks of bread.
    ********************

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To have a little fun.
    Stupid Jill forgot the pill
    And now they have a son.
    ********************

    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
    'What have you got there?'
    Said the pie man unto Simon,
    'Pies, you dumb ass'
    ********************

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the kings' horses,
    And all the kings' men.
    Had scrambled eggs,
    For breakfast again.
    ********************

    Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
    All over the bedside clock.
    The little dog laughed to see such fun.
    Then died of electric shock.
    ********************

    Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    And when the boys came out to play,
    He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
    ********************

    There was a little girl who had a little curl
    Right in the middle of her forehead.
    When she was good, she was very, very good.
    But when she was bad........
    She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013

    #2
    Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

    Jack Be Nimble

    Jack be nimble,
    Jack be quick,
    Jack jumped over the candle stick,
    And burned his dick. IAD Ha!
    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
    Dr. Seuss

    Comment


      #3
      Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

      :H:H

      Comment


        #4
        Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

        Jack And Jill

        Jack and Jill went up the hill,
        To smoke a little leaf.
        Jack got high,
        Pulled down his fly,
        And Jill said,
        "Where's the beef!"

        Jack and Jill went up the hill
        For just an itty bitty.
        Jill's now two months overdue,
        And Jack has left the city. Iad....Ha!/I]
        ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
        those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
        Dr. Seuss

        Comment


          #5
          Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

          I'm SO glad I never let you two babysit!!! :shockedmonkey:
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

          Comment


            #6
            Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

            jack and jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter, jill came down with $2.50 , the dirty little ####

            Comment


              #7
              Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

              HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :H:H:H:H:H YOU TWO ARE KILLING ME!!!!!!

              thanks for the laughs!
              ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

              AUGUST 9, 2009

              Comment


                #8
                Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

                rubywillow;707435 wrote: I'm SO glad I never let you two babysit!!! :shockedmonkey:
                I agree...LOL!!
                :l
                LTG AF January 13, 2011

                Comment


                  #9
                  Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

                  "There was a little girl,
                  Who had a little curl
                  Right in the middle of her forehead...
                  And when she was good,
                  She was very very good,
                  But when she was bad
                  She got a fur coat, jewels, a
                  Waterfront condo and a sports car." Ha!
                  ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                  those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                  Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

                    1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
                    1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
                    And if one stick of dynamite should accidentally fall...
                    There'll be no sticks of dynamite and no f**king wall
                    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                    Dr. Seuss

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids........

                      Awcccccckcckckckckck!
                      sigpic
                      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                      Comment

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