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Walmart has almost everything!

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    Walmart has almost everything!

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013

    #2
    Walmart has almost everything!

    Wall Mart ! ha! IAD.......
    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
    Dr. Seuss

    Comment


      #3
      Walmart has almost everything!

      Some.......souls are lost in their iles.......Ha! IAD
      ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
      those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
      Dr. Seuss

      Comment


        #4
        Walmart has almost everything!

        Very good, thanks.

        Comment


          #5
          Walmart has almost everything!

          This was in our paper a few weeks ago:

          www.peopleofwalmart.com
          I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

          Comment


            #6
            Walmart has almost everything!

            Still funny thou.
            My legal Coke fix:
            1. Go to Starbucks and buy 5 triple espresso's
            2. Stop off @ Home Depot and buy 2 sheets of no. 2 sandpaper
            3. Drive home
            4. Drink coffee
            5. Rub sandpaper in nose
            6. Open wallet and flush 200 bucks down toilet

            Same effect, perfectly legal
            Long Road
            Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission--
            Eleanor Roosevelt

            Comment


              #7
              Walmart has almost everything!

              Some people just don't know that Spandex is NOT THEIR FRIEND!
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

              Comment


                #8
                Walmart has almost everything!

                rubywillow;741712 wrote: Some people just don't know that Spandex is NOT THEIR FRIEND!
                :H:H
                I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

                Comment

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