An elderly Floridian call 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brakes, even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm, an officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in: "Disregard. She got in the back seat by mistake."
Three sisters ages 92,94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a batth. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to her other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old calls bac "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head sand says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
An elderly couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached acrosshled he hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later the wife said : "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down again to sleep. Thirty seconds later, she said:" Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw gack the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" he replies.
90-year old Bessie bursts into the the nursing home rec holding her clenched fist high in the air and announces: "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have fun with me all night!" And elderly gentelman in the rear shouts out: "An elephant!" Bessie thinks a minutes, then says, :"Close enough!"
Three sisters ages 92,94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a batth. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to her other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old calls bac "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head sand says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
An elderly couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached acrosshled he hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later the wife said : "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down again to sleep. Thirty seconds later, she said:" Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw gack the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" he replies.
90-year old Bessie bursts into the the nursing home rec holding her clenched fist high in the air and announces: "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have fun with me all night!" And elderly gentelman in the rear shouts out: "An elephant!" Bessie thinks a minutes, then says, :"Close enough!"
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake,