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    Washington Post Invitational

    This is really great. A friend sent this to me. (It's ironic that this paper is from my town and a friend in St. Louis sent it to me, but some of these are hysterical.) Enjoy!

    Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which
    once again asked readers to take any word from the
    dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
    changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
    Here are the 2005 winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
    renders the subject financially impotent for an
    indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
    @#%$.

    3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
    which lasts until you realize it was your money to
    start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
    people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
    bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
    breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
    the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
    wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
    are running late.

    10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

    11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
    extra credit.)

    12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
    off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
    the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
    through the day consuming only things that are good
    for you. (This one is for CV)

    14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
    seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
    performed just after you've accidentally walked
    through a spider web.

    17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
    that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
    and cannot be cast out.

    18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
    half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

    The Washington Post has also published the winning
    submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers
    are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
    words.

    And the winners are:

    1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how
    much weight one has gained.

    3 abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a
    flat stomach.

    4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while
    drunk.

    5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

    6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door
    when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

    8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9 flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up
    someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

    12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing
    adopted by proctologists.

    13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation
    with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death,
    the soul flies up onto the roof and gets
    stuck there.

    16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer
    shorts worn by Jewish men.
    AF as of August 5th, 2012

    #2
    Washington Post Invitational

    ok love it !!
    The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

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