Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Redneck Phrases

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Redneck Phrases

    I can post these (not my own) without worry, since I come from a long line of rednecks.

    Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.
    -- submitted by Rich Postma, Holland, MI

    He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.
    -- submitted by Frances Wike, Houston, TX

    Don't worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
    -- submitted by Sharla McGriff, Pine Blufff, AR

    That boy is about as sharp as a cue ball.
    -- submitted by Kyle Schellinger, Houston, TX

    You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.( bad shot)
    -- submitted by Ryan, Lubbock, TX

    I'm bowed up like a Halloween Cat.
    -- submitted by Robert Lee, Rock Hill, SC

    He's ridin' a gravy train on biscuit wheels.
    -- submitted by Randy, Weslaco, TX

    Ain't no point in beatin' a dead horse...'course, can't hurt none either.
    -- submitted by Johnnie Paul Elliot, Dallas, TX

    I'd love to have a dress just like that,
    but I don't go to many Puerto Rican proms.
    -- submitted by Frances Wike, Houston, TX

    Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire.
    -- submitted by Kristopher Izzi, Indianapolis, IN

    He's so stupid, he couldn't find his ass with both hands.
    -- submitted by Stephanie, Las Vegas, NV

    Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
    -- submitted by Keith, Los Angeles, CA

    That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
    Nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
    -- submitted by David Easter, Park Hills, MO

    I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
    5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than...
    -- submitted by T. Harris, Hope, IN

    You catch more flies with jam than you do with vinegar.
    -- submitted by Richard, Chesterfield, Derbyshire, England

    As easy as herding chickens.
    -- submitted by JignPig, Dallas, TX

    Richer than 3 feet up a bull's ass (bull manure is expecially good fertilizer).
    -- submitted by Jim Muehlhausen, Sacramento, CA

    Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive.
    -- submitted by C.P., Freeport, MA

    I'm so hungry, I'd eat the balls off a low flying duck!
    -- submitted by Donald McAteer, Donegal

    She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister's
    wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.
    -- submitted by Heather Boles, Ft. Worth, TX

    She's as useful as a tit on a boar hog.
    -- submitted by Chris Connor, Austin, TX

    Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
    -- submitted by Anonymous, Ashland, KY

    You're as handy as a cow on a crutch.
    You got to be 10% smarter than the equipment you're runnin'.
    -- submitted by Jen McQueen, St. Thomas, VI

    My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
    neck to get the dogs to play her.
    -- submitted by Jeanne, Richmond, VA

    She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish.
    -- submitted by Will and Christie Edwards, Anna, TX

    Hornier than a two peckered billy goat.
    -- submitted by Bollox, Holland

    Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
    -- submitted by Jimbo, Harbor Creek, PA

    Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor.
    -- submitted by Brandon Miller, Lexington, KY

    Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
    -- submitted by Joe Blow, T.O. Ontartio

    Busier than a stump full of ants.
    -- submitted by Forrest, Dayton, OH

    That dawg won't hunt.
    -- submitted by Ted, Norfolk, VA

    It's colder than a mother-in-law's love.
    -- submitted by Forrest, Dayton, OH

    You're slower than molasses on a cold day.
    -- submitted by Brandon K., Lubbock, TX
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    #2
    Redneck Phrases

    Howdy Rubes......

    "Redneck murders are hard to solve. All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records."
    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
    Dr. Seuss

    Comment


      #3
      Redneck Phrases

      "A new redneck law was recently passed; When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins."
      ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
      those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
      Dr. Seuss

      Comment


        #4
        Redneck Phrases

        My fav but added she instead of he...

        He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.
        -- submitted by Frances Wike, Houston, TX
        Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

        Comment


          #5
          Redneck Phrases

          IAD;905678 wrote: Howdy Rubes......

          "Redneck murders are hard to solve. All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records."
          :H:H:H
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

          Comment


            #6
            Redneck Phrases

            Just a thought ! Ha! ( Do you have this plague in your house ? ha! ) IAD
            ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
            those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
            Dr. Seuss

            Comment


              #7
              Redneck Phrases

              A Red Neck's Four major food groups :

              You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

              Comment


                #8
                Redneck Phrases

                I love you guys. Are you from Georgia??
                sigpic
                Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                Comment


                  #9
                  Redneck Phrases

                  My question, how did a harpooned hippo get up a banana tree in the first place?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Redneck Phrases

                    Just one of those mysteries of life Hart !?! Ha!
                    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                    Dr. Seuss

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Redneck Phrases

                      hart;906408 wrote: My question, how did a harpooned hippo get up a banana tree in the first place?
                      Harty, as with most redneck sayings, they don't have to have a meaning.

                      AND, 'Uglier than a stump full of spiders.'
                      sigpic
                      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Redneck Phrases

                        may of involved a little jack daniels
                        Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Redneck Phrases

                          25 ways to fiquire if your a Red Neck :

                          1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

                          2. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion.

                          3. You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

                          4. You measure distance in minutes.

                          5. You know several people who have hit a deer.

                          6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

                          7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

                          8. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

                          9. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”

                          10. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.

                          11. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.

                          12. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

                          13. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

                          14. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

                          15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

                          16. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

                          17. You carry jumper cables in your car.

                          18. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.

                          19. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

                          20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

                          21. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

                          22. You think that deer season is a national holiday.

                          23. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”

                          24. You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

                          25. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
                          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                          Dr. Seuss

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Redneck Phrases

                            I have a bunch more, but they are TRULY unpolitically correct. 'Course, that doesn't bother me. If we can't laugh at ourselves, then we can't jump on anyone else. Besides, I know a lot of people like those we laugh at, and many of them I'd trust MUCH further than our educated, elected officials.
                            sigpic
                            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Redneck Phrases

                              rubywillow;906610 wrote: I have a bunch more, but they are TRULY unpolitically correct. 'Course, that doesn't bother me. If we can't laugh at ourselves, then we can't jump on anyone else. Besides, I know a lot of people like those we laugh at, and many of them I'd trust MUCH further than our educated, elected officials.
                              Bring 'em on, Ruby! I could use the laughter, especially at myself

                              Pie

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X