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Pearls Of Wisdom

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    Pearls Of Wisdom

    1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


    2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


    3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


    4. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.


    5. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.


    6. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.


    7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.


    8. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


    9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


    10. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.


    11. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


    12. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a man without an erection, make him a sandwich.


    13. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


    14. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


    15. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.


    16. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.


    17. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.


    18. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


    19. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


    20. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    #2
    Pearls Of Wisdom

    This is great!
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #3
      Pearls Of Wisdom

      I don't know why but the first one struck me the funniest Thanx dida

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        #4
        Pearls Of Wisdom

        7 is SO true! (Read the news.)

        If people think you are a fool, don't open your mouth and prove it.
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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          #5
          Pearls Of Wisdom

          GREAT!!!
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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