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Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

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    Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

    John really wanted to buy a motorcycle. He had been searching nearly every day, with no luck (he?s quite picky). One day he comes across a mint looking Harley with a ?For Sale? sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one even though it?s 10 years old, really shiny and in absolute mint condition.

    He immediately buys it, on the spot, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. ?Well, it?s quite simple, really,? says the seller, ?whenever the bike is outside and it?s going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.? And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandy, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they ride the bike over there. But, just before they enter the house, Sandy stops him and says, ?I have to tell you something about my family before we go in? When we eat dinner, we don?t talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.? ?No problem,? he says. And in they go.

    John is shocked at the sight. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and, of course, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Sandy. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. He stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her brains out right in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom definately horrified, but, when he sits back down nobody says a word.

    John, looking over at Sandy?s mom, things to himself she?s pretty hot. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. His girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, ?All right, thats enough, I?ll do the fucking dishes!?
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    #2
    Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

    Way to go Rubes ! Ha! Hay Vaseline was Pee Wee's best friend ! ha! Tony
    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
    Dr. Seuss

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      #3
      Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

      Hope you don't know that from personal knowledge, buddy!!
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

      Comment


        #4
        Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

        LOL, Ruby, The missing vaseline thread and it's a great one!

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          #5
          Vaseline As A Weapon (R-rated!)

          hi rubes id say only YOU,BUT THERE ARE MANY THAT THINK THE SAME GYCO HAHAHAH im in stitches hahahha

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