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    Ponderisms

    PONDERISMS


    1? I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    2? There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

    3?Life is sexually transmitted.

    4? Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    5?The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    6? Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing

    7? Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    8? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    9?All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    10? In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    11?How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    12? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

    13? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
    a song about him?

    14? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    15? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    16?If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    17? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    18? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    19? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    20? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
    ..........
    AF - 7-27-15

    #2
    Ponderisms

    :H:H:H
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    Comment


      #3
      Ponderisms

      hey pm me yours i got some good one too lmao
      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

      Comment

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