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Things Hallmark cards never say.

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    Things Hallmark cards never say.

    My tire was thumping.



    I thought it was flat



    When I looked at the tire...



    I notic ed your cat.



    Sorry!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~



    Heard your wife left you,



    How upset you must be.



    But don't fret about it...



    She moved in with me.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



    Looking back over the years



    that we've been together,



    I can't help but wonder...



    "What the hell was I thinking?"



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



    Congratulations on your wedding day!



    Too bad no one likes your husband.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



    How could two people as beautiful as you



    Have such an ugly baby?



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



    I've always wanted to have



    someone to hold,



    someone to love.



    After having met you ..



    I've changed my mind.



    --------------------------------------

    ----------------------------------------------------------



    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.



    I never believed in Hell until I met you.



    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////



    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...



    That you're not here to ruin it for me.



    ################################################## ##



    Congratulations on your promotion.



    Before you go...



    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?



    You'll probably need it again.



    ************************************************** ******************************



    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ !



    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.



    Almost Lifelike!



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



    When we were together,



    you always said you'd die for me.



    Now that we've broken up,



    I think it's time you kept your promise.



    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////



    We have been friends for a very long time ..



    let's say we stop?



    ize: 12px;">+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++



    I'm so miserable without you



    it's almost like you're here.



    ================================================== ===



    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.



    Did you ever find out who the father was?



    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%



    Your f riends and I wanted to do



    something special for your birthday.



    So we're having you put to sleep.



    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



    So your daughter's a hooker,



    and it spoiled your day.



    Look at the bright side,



    it's really good pay.







    "************************************************* *****************************"
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

    #2
    Things Hallmark cards never say.

    Cutting, pasting and forwarding, my friend!

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