After she woke up, a woman told her husband. "I just dreamed you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight" he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled,
'THE MEANING OF DREAMS"
Jim asked his friend Tony whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine'sDay.
"Yes", Tony, who was a bit of a chauvinist, replied. "I bought her a belt and a bag."
"That was nice of you", said Jim. "I hope she appreciated the thought."
Tony smiled as he said, "Me too. Hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
After a quarrel, a husband spoke to his wife. "I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, darling, I know. But I was in love with you, so I failed to notice."
Men like to tell their friends that woman are f*&^#%g idiots. So what does that say about a man's intelligence? (Think about it ladies. They probably won't get it!)