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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK..............

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    YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK..............

    You might be a redneck if....................

    --You need more than one shopping cart at the thrift store.
    --Nobody will sit next to you at Little League games.
    --The "Elvis Theme" of your wedding ceremony wasn't intentional.
    --You hold a yard sale after every baby shower.
    --The only authority figure you respect is Captain Morgan.
    --You've deliberately killed a bug with a bottle rocket.
    --Your lips are moving as you're reading this.
    --You only notice when the "check engine" light goes OFF.
    --You think Xbox is where you keep your divorce papers.
    --Starting your truck requires a big hill and a lot of luck.
    --Your wedding ring changes colors when you're happy.
    --You think 'My Space' is the La-Z-Boy next to the TV.
    --Flushing your toilet requires both hands.
    --You don't notice power outages.
    --You've sent a fan letter to Chef Boyardee.
    --You think a hybrid car is the half of a Camaro you welded to half a Pinto.
    --You taped WWF wrestling over your wedding video.
    --Door-to-door salesmen skip your door.
    --There are always spent shotgun shell casings on your deck.
    --Every time a car backfires you hit the deck.
    --Your trailer park is home to at least one cult.
    --Your kid's stuffed animals are REALLY stuffed animals.
    --You've ever tried on a bra at a yard sale.
    --You've demolished your kitchen to catch a rat.
    --Your "deck" is an abandoned flatbed trailer next to your home.
    --Your church was towed to its current location.
    --Going swimming means damming the creek.
    --Your underwear is edible but your cooking isn't.
    --There's bumper stickers on your toilet.
    --You only went down on one knee to propose because you were so drunk at the time.
    --A NASCAR crash affects you more than a NASDAQ crash.
    --Your shower cap is you regular cap.
    --You've ever worn suit pants without a shirt.
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    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:
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