YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.............
You list the color of your car as 'various.'
Your honeymoon cruise was a bass boat.
You've asked a psychic for a second opinion.
You never judge a comic book by it's cover.
Your family resemblance is adult acne.
There's more gas in your stomach than your car.
Your TV has been on non-stop for over a decade.
The only credit you can get is for time served.
You've ever cursed while delivering a eulogy.
Your marriage ended midway through the best man's speech.
You never go anywhere without a bottle opener.
You have hickies in your 5th grade photo.
You can recite your miranda rights but not the Pledge of Allegiance.
You think 'counting carbs' involves popping the hood.
You've ever made a family trip to the landfill.
You really DO call in the next ten minutes when an infomercial says so.
Hunting involves a getaway car.
At least 3 things in your home are secured with bungee cords or duct tape.
Your kids are banned from Chuck E. Cheese.
There's nothing skinny about your skinny dipping.
Everyone says 'Is it supposed to look like that?' when you show your tatoos.
Every meal you eat involves a bun.
Whichever side of the tracks you live on becomes the wrong side.
You request silence before belching.
Everything within sight of your porch becomes a target.
You think karaoke is what your uncle died of.