SGV Tribune: 'MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER '
(They printed a correction the next day!)
'SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH'
(No Shit! Ya THINK!)
'POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS'
(DANG!)
'PANDA MATING FAILS, VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER'
(what a stud!)
'MINER REFUSES TO WORK AFTER DEATH'
(what a DEADbeat)
'WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE'
(hmmm, could happen)
'COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURE'
(Al Gore again??)
'RED TAPE HOLDS UP BRIDGE'
(and it's not even duct tape!)
'MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTENING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE'
(OK, someones just playing with us)
'NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP'
(try McDonald's)
'ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACE'
(and you can't even open a window!)
'LOCAL HIGHSCHOOL CUTS DROPOUTS IN HALF'
(Chainsaw Massacre?)
'HOSPITAL SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS'
(how tall was their lawyer?)
'TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY; 100'S DEAD'
(figure it out on your own!)
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