He opened the envelope and read the following.
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I write this letter to you. I had to elope with Barbara,
my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mum.
I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice, even with all her piercings, tattoos and her tight motorcycle leathers.
However it's not only the passion and pregnancy, I just know that we are going to be very happy together.
I know that you do not care for her as she is so much older than I but she owns her own caravan in the woods and has a huge stack of firewood for the coming winter.
We both want many more children together.
Barbara has taught me that mariajuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it not only for ourselves but intend to trade it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstacy we want.
In the meantime we pray that science can find a cure for AIDS so that Barbara will be able to get better.
She certainly deserves it.
Don't worry Dad, I am 15 years old now, know my own mind and I know how to take care of myself.
Some day we'll be back to visit you and Mum so that you can get to know all your Grandchildren.
Your loving Son,
John.
PS. Dad none of this is true. I'm just at a pal's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school report which is in the centre drawer of my desk.
Please call when it's safe to come home!"
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