misunderstood

[Saint Jude]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH :

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay


And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example,
when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine
features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in
petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a broken baseball
bat shoved up his ass.



I showed this to a customer @ the cafe last night... he asked if I wanted to dance! LOL!

[Popeye]

misunderstood

Those shoes don't go wit that outfit.......

[Saint Jude]

misunderstood

I'd love to dance!:H

[xtexan]

misunderstood

Ha-ha!:H

Just saw this. Reminds of me of a friend I had once in college, many, many moons ago.

I am eagerly awaiting her arrival, and she gives a knock on the door. I rip it open, hot for some fun.

Now this gal is 5' 11" tall, blonde, of German and Swedish descent. A barbie doll if ever there was one.

I will never forget her attire that day. Bright neon blue tight tube top, bright fire red hot pants shorts, black fishnets, and green ankle socks, with bright yellow high heels. Everything went with everything that time.

My eyes popped out, and she was grinning ear to ear. After I fainted a bit, and recovered, I think I said something like, "Hi, I'm bored, lets go out for dinner, a movie, lets dance, and gosh do I love you!"

I sure miss that gal!

Neil