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Making a Baby.

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    Making a Baby.

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

    "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

    "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

    "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!"

    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

    "Leave everything to me...I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

    "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

    "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

    "Don't I know it", said Mrs. Smith quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus", he said.

    "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

    "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

    "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

    "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

    "Tripod?"

    "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

    Mrs. Smith fainted.
    Psalms 119:45


    ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

    St. Francis of Assisi



    I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

    :rays:

    #2
    Making a Baby.

    :H:H:H
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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      #3
      Making a Baby.

      :H:H:H
      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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        #4
        Making a Baby.

        Thank GAWD for misunderstandings! :H:H:H
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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          #5
          Making a Baby.

          Love it!
          Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
          Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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            #6
            Making a Baby.

            :H:H:H

            Too funny... I got that in my email yesterday, too!
            Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

            Winning since October 24th, 2013

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              #7
              Making a Baby.

              :H:H:H
              Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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