WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
awoman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
fromhis mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
thephone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
lockerroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
myuniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
thepolice. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,"
shetyle="color: navy;">said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered,"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
herdad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit.""And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
thenext morning. "
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
ofthe deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayersand with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his
father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and
into the hole he goooes."
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
andthey won't let me talk!"
:H
:H
Nancy
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
awoman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
fromhis mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
thephone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
lockerroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
myuniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
thepolice. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,"
shetyle="color: navy;">said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered,"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
herdad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit.""And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
thenext morning. "
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
ofthe deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayersand with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his
father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and
into the hole he goooes."
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
andthey won't let me talk!"
:H
:H Nancy
zwink:
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