Subject: WALMART NUTCASE
This gives a whole new meaning to shopping at Wal-Mart!!
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the
shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton
loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite
a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping
in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the lady?s rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag
of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it
as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least .
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"
This gives a whole new meaning to shopping at Wal-Mart!!
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the
shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton
loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite
a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping
in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the lady?s rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag
of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it
as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least .
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"
Control the Mind
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