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    Being British

    (N.B: I hope this doesn't offend anyone - I am after all British too)


    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
    Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
    kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most British thing of all?
    Suspicion of all things foreign!
    Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
    back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
    DIET coke.

    Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
    counters.

    Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
    lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
    call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
    in the first place.
    Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    rink.

    ____

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
    were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
    cracker-pulling accidents.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
    to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control
    Scalextric cars.

    and finally...
    In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls
    incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    #2
    Being British

    As a certain comedy character would say "How very dare you"

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      #3
      Being British

      Funny Mandy. This applies to us Canadians as well. Minus the Curry dish and the Terkish Kabob. Although we like foods from other cultures, we would typically grab something like a McDonalds meal deal or some thing else after leaving the pub!

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        #4
        Being British

        That was sooo true xx
        sigpicXXX

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