What Confucius “did not” say!

[stirly-girly]

What Confucius ?did not? say!

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets

exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

[JackieClaire]

What Confucius “did not” say!

:H:H:H

[techie]

What Confucius “did not” say!

:H:H:H:H

[girly wirly]

What Confucius “did not” say!

hahaha love it :H:H

[hart]

What Confucius “did not” say!

Hart say, me likey jokes!

[mama bear]

What Confucius “did not” say!

gotta share these with Hubs!

[FinleyTricia]

What Confucius “did not” say!

hilarious! squirrel and nuts one cracked me!

here is a good one:

The translation of woman?s language

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".

I would add a tenth here:

10 If that's what you want: Generally a pre-emptive "I told you so" that grants patient permission for a man's obviously-doomed-to-fail enterprise.

[IAD]

What Confucius “did not” say!

" Man who cooks, peas in pot.....very unsanitary"

[~EVA~]

What Confucius “did not” say!

:H:H

[IAD]

What Confucius “did not” say!

"It takes many nails to build a crib.......but only one screw to fill it !" Ha !