You might of heard some of these before, but there still funny :H
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweat-shirt.
>>> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
>>> "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>>>
>>> "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>>>
>>> He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
>>>
>>> And they say blondes are dumb..
>>>
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> A couple is lying in bed.
>>>
>>> The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
world."
>>>
>>> The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>>>
>>>
>>> ------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
>>> out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
>>> think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
>>>
>>>
>>> "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>>
>>> A: A rumor
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>> wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
>>> and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
>>> could have one wish.
>>>span>
>>> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>>>
>>> Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>>
>>> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>>
>>> Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>>>
>>> Gotta love that fairy!
>>>
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Dear Lord,
>>>
>>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>>> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
>>> beat him to death. AMEN
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>>
>>> A: They are practicing to be men.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>>
>>> A: Trustworthy.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
>>> and calling your name?
>>>
>>> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>>
>>> A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>>
>>> A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>>>
>>> ------------------------------------------------------
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweat-shirt.
>>> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
>>> "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>>>
>>> "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>>>
>>> He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
>>>
>>> And they say blondes are dumb..
>>>
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> A couple is lying in bed.
>>>
>>> The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
world."
>>>
>>> The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>>>
>>>
>>> ------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
>>> out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
>>> think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
>>>
>>>
>>> "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>>
>>> A: A rumor
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>> wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
>>> and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
>>> could have one wish.
>>>span>
>>> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>>>
>>> Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>>
>>> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>>
>>> Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>>>
>>> Gotta love that fairy!
>>>
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Dear Lord,
>>>
>>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>>> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
>>> beat him to death. AMEN
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>>
>>> A: They are practicing to be men.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>>
>>> A: Trustworthy.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
>>> and calling your name?
>>>
>>> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>>
>>> A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>>
>>> A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>>>
>>> ------------------------------------------------------
Control the Mind
eace:
Comment