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    Toilet Paper

    THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
    Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub itbetween them for a few seconds".

    Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
    I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

    He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man.



    Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

    #2
    Toilet Paper

    LOL...Guilty
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

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      #3
      Toilet Paper

      Oh Macks I'm dying over here.......
      "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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        #4
        Toilet Paper

        d-oh!!!!!!!!!!! lots of cold compresses Macks my man.
        nosce te ipsum
        (Know Thyself)

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          #5
          Toilet Paper

          Ugh!!! I told this joke at a couples baby shower a few years back when I had had WAY too much wine. They were a VERY conservative group and I just thought this was the funniest joke ever. I, of course, had to use the word "ass" instead of "butt" (bigger impact that way, or so I thought) and you can only imagine the dead silence when I got to the punch line. My husband was trying to stop me from telling it but I wanted nothing to do with him. LOL!!! Thanks for dredging up that memory.

          I still thinks it is a priceless joke however.
          I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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            #6
            Toilet Paper

            A beer party, yes but at a Baby Shower...how funny!
            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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              #7
              Toilet Paper

              I never said I had any tact
              I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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