arriage (Part I )
>
> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
>
> after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
>
> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
>
> I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
>
> I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I
>won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
>card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a
>hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
>
>
> His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
>there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're
>here or not."
>
> (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
>
> ************************************************
>
> Marriage (Part II)
>
> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
>wedding anniversary!
>
>
> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
>
> that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
>
>
> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
>
> that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
>
> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>
>
> *****************************************
>
> Marriage (Part III)
>
> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
>breakfast table.
>
>
>
> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
>
> good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
>
>
> After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
>and rings her up.
>
>
>
> She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
>says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
>
> She says, "I was in bed."
>
>
> "In bed this early, doing what?"
>
>
> "Getting a second opinion!"
>
>
> (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
>
> *****************************************
>
> Marriage (Part IV)
>
> A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
>
>
>
> He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
>
> wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
>
>
> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to
>go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
>He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
>
>
>
> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
>
> shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
>
>
> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>
> *****************************************
>
> THE SILENT TREATMENT
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
>
> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
>
>
>
> Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
>to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
>
>
>
> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
>wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it
>where he knew she would find it.
>
>
>
> The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
>
> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
>
>
> Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when
>he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
>Wake up."
>
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
>
> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
>
> after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
>
> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
>
> I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
>
> I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I
>won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
>card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a
>hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
>
>
> His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
>there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're
>here or not."
>
> (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
>
> ************************************************
>
> Marriage (Part II)
>
> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
>wedding anniversary!
>
>
> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
>
> that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
>
>
> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
>
> that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
>
> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>
>
> *****************************************
>
> Marriage (Part III)
>
> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
>breakfast table.
>
>
>
> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
>
> good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
>
>
> After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
>and rings her up.
>
>
>
> She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
>says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
>
> She says, "I was in bed."
>
>
> "In bed this early, doing what?"
>
>
> "Getting a second opinion!"
>
>
> (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
>
> *****************************************
>
> Marriage (Part IV)
>
> A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
>
>
>
> He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
>
> wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
>
>
> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to
>go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
>He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
>
>
>
> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
>
> shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
>
>
> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>
> *****************************************
>
> THE SILENT TREATMENT
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
>
> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
>
>
>
> Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
>to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
>
>
>
> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
>wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it
>where he knew she would find it.
>
>
>
> The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
>
> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
>
>
> Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when
>he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
>Wake up."
>
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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