Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!
-
Success is making yourself do the thing you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you like it or not.
If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. -
Why did God invent men?
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"
Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself. -
Why did God invent men?
When God made man she was only joking.Comment
-
Why did God invent men?
Of course God made man first - but one always makes a draft before the final master piece.Comment
-
Why did God invent men?
So "Woman" is the ultimate creation, yes?
Success is making yourself do the thing you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you like it or not.
If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.Comment
-
Why did God invent men?
I had this Ol' Fart say to me in a Seminar a few years back, "Do you know why men die so much earlier than women?" well of course everyone knows the stock answer...
But I looked right at this ninny and said quite sweetly,
"Because they deserve to?"
That shut him up :HOn My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nestComment
-
Why did God invent men?
bahahaha - Kradle, I almost just choked on my iced tea. Thanks for my laugh for the day.Comment
Comment