True story

[Marioisback]

An old fella goes into a chemist and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a small spoon,

He pours from the bottle onto the spoon and gives it to the chemist,

Can you taste that for me ? Good sir,

The chemist takes the teaspoon puts it in his mouth and swells it all around and swallows it,

Does that taste sweet to you at all says the old man, not attall says the chemist,

Thank goodness for that says the auld fella my doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar...
__________________

[Marioisback]

True story

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
"So what do you think about that Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."

One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking
cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge..

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor..
The 86-year-old said,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

[Marioisback]

True story

Polish man goes to specsavers for an eye test.

Optician shows him the test card with C Z W J X N Y S A C Z and asks him "Can you read that?"

The Pole says "Read it?", " I fooking know the bloke

[DreamThinkDo]

True story

As I said, Mario - chirpycheery :H:H:H