Decoding Dictionary

[MDBiker]

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:


* 40-ish..................................49.
* Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic................................No breasts.
* Average looking.....................Moooo.
* Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
* Emotionally Secure................On medication.
* Feminist...............................Fat.
* Free Spirit............................Junkie.
* Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
* New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded........................Desperate.
* Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional...........................Bitch.
* Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
* Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate....................Stalker.


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:


* Yes.....................................No
* No......................................Yes
* Maybe.................................No
* We need.............................I want
* I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
* We need to talk...................You're in trouble
* Sure, go ahead.....................You better not
* Do what you want................You will pay for this later
* I am not upset.....................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
* You're attentive tonight........Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:


* I am hungry...........................I am hungry
* I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
* I am tired..............................I am tired
* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
* I love you..............................Let's have sex now
* I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?.............I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime?..........I'd like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?...I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit.........I'm gay.

[MDBiker]

Decoding Dictionary

Growing Young

I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in
Luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room
Service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.