It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

[Guest]

Some of the girls on chat last night can attest to this:

Ok so last night hubby bought 7lb lobster just for 2 of us (and 2lbs of mussels) 9lbs of seafood for 2 people. Ludicrous. Pot wasn't big enough. Don't ask what he did.

Mussels were undercooked in one pot, lobster overcooked in other- he had to use some sort of plumbing tool just to crack it and get meat out. I had to spit out three disgusting mussels. He said he had it all under control. We have done this meal before but normally it is 2 pound lobster. Have no idea what he was thinking. I was chatting with the ladies while this was going on and he said he needed no help then clearly he did and all hell was breaking loose in there. Then finally all was ok and the meal sucked but it was over. Then he felt bad and we started cleaning and told me to go back to the girls and have a laugh about it, which I did. Then he starts yelling back asking me when I'm coming back to help him clean!!! I'm like "wait you told me i could chat and that you would clean mr mulitple personality disorder". So anyway I sign off in a huff and I go to finish cleaning and he leaves me the disgusting lobster pot with the steamer basket that is full of god knows what, nothing I have ever seen before. I totally lose it as he has a thing with trimming fat off of chicken breasts and I ALWAYS do that. I'm like "of all the cleaning this is what you leave me with when I couldn't even me in here when you killed the thing?" It was so gross I though I would throw up.

Now all he wants for Fathers Day is sleep today and sex and I can't muster up part two because of that lobster pot. Just plain mean is what that was, or just thoughtless Whole dinner complete clusterf*7k. >:

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Happy, I dont blame you one bit,and totally on your side. But then again.....I'm divorced. (happily that is) gabby

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Same thoughts;

It started at 7:30 this morning. I knew that hubby planned on doing a barbecue today, (no problem right, WRONG!) when I got up the first thing he says is, "Don't marinade the chicken thighs, Only do the chicken breasts!..Well you know that pissed me off. Then I get don't touch the London Broil..No problem, (I didn't care)..Then I hear, "oh yeah I guess you can do the hamburger meat..

My attitude is, I will let him cook his way (he is a great cook, but he is Italian and I know that he won't marinade the food the way I do)...Any time we barbecue everybody, that has ever tasted the food says it tastes really good...I always marinade the meat, not hubby....The way I see it, is today is Fathers Day and I'll just grin and bear it.

PS...Happycamper, enjoy the rest of the weekend, it's only one day, that we (maybe, might, should or could) let the men to it their way..


Brandy

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

men!

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

I would just like to have a hubby that would shop for food....not just beer!!:rolleyes

My hubby and I started our third 20 gallon container of blackberry wine this morning.:rolleyes We STILL faught over how exactly to do all the steps! I just stepped back and let him do it the hard way (crushing and weighing and measuring). I have found out that it is much eaiser to just let him work harder not smarter and go put on my cd (clearing 2 ) Lie in the stream and let the living water flow over and wash the ____ out of me! :happy

I only hurt myself and my body if I hang on to the anger !
Makes me want to drink!! TRIGGER..!!

Men's brains ARE different!

Nancy

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Nancy;

We as partners, have to use patience with the other person in our lives.. I decided, that I wanted today to be as special as he and my son treated me on Mothers Day! I could be annooyed at something more demanding of my mental energy, than, being angry and upset over the way hubby does things!

Yeah right, we as women don't give in that easy, but we've been trained in taking the easier road when we know, it's not worth the anger and frustration when it comes to our partners. I may not (truly feel this way), but I have to "Fake it until I make it)...

:rollin Brandy

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Pick our battles

Hey girls,

I know how that stuff can get to us, but it really is not a big deal in the scheme of things. I say that from the perspective of being married to a man i dearly love for almost 36 years. If I've learned one thing, it's PICK YOUR BATTLES. Meaning save your confrontation for the important things. So he screws up a meal.

About leaving the worst pot. Annoying to say the least. We all have enough of a sense of humor that we can put him on notice about that. And the truth is -- if that's the worst of him, you have yourself a great hub.

Around here, we make deals. Ok, I'll do this pot if you take on the greasy broiler tomorrow. We keep it light. No point in fighting over a pot. Yeah, I know, it's the principle but, trust me, it gets better. At this point, neither of us wants to fight about anything. The important thing is to get to that point.

Hope this isn't preachy. Just wanted to share.

Ned

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

I hear ya Ivy and Brandy, But if you invest all those years and you are the only one makin the consessions.....still after all the years......the time has to come when you ask yourself if its OK to live the rest of your life settleing for that sort of treatment. I mean if it doesnt change after 20 years.....need I say more? gabby

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

I hear ya too, Gabby. I guess it's a matter of comparing the plus and minus columns. What I was saying is, if the worst is he's bad at cooking and clean ups but great otherwise, no big deal. Think of the other things he does, say, taking out garbage, yard work, car, cleaning out garage or whatever and especially loving things he does for you. If it's way out of whack, then, yeah, you have a problem. Then I guess you have to face and deal with the UNDERLYING problem and not get caught up in daily domestic details. In my case, I always knew he loved me and I needed that. And while he always expressed it, as he got older, he took on a lot of housework as part of that.

Just wishing us all a good love relationship. Everyone needs that. I have other crap in my life which I think is where the the drinking is from. My job is to separate myself from letting it be the trigger. Not easy for any of us.

Ned

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

Ok ladies;

I just tasted hamburgers and chicken..yes it taste different from the way I season my meat, but so far everything is turning out terrific! Seems like just letting these things happen this way, things usually turn out pretty good...Ok, so I learned a lesson...Question; Will I feel the same way at another time in the future? Probably, I'm a women!

Brandy

P.S. The best part is I had a place to come to and vent, that also made a big difference, I wouldn't be where I am without you guys(men and women here at MWO)...

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

Thanks for letting me vents guys,

I guess it's that damn pot!! I should just throw it out and move on:lol

he really is a good guy and I am being very nice to him today.

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

I am glad you guys worked it all and are havin a good day. gab

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

Thanks Gabby;

We had a really nice day! The food was wonderful, a friend of ours came by, and added to the mood of the day. We couldn't of had a better day!

Brandy

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

Hey...we survived the wine making...had a steak dinner and went to the local " Peach country" spot and had the biggest peach icecream cone you have ever seen!! Yum! We sat in rocking chairs and people watched and talked to our grand-kids on the phone... Pretty good day...huh!

It does seem like in marriage both parteners feel that they are giving 100 percent...and both are correct...that's what it takes..
Nancy

[Guest]

It's Father's Day and Hubby is putz

Re: Pick our battles

Calling on the ladies ..Gabby, Ivy and Nancy;

The day came and went, how did everything turn out? If you had the opportunity to turn back the clock what would you have done differently?

To be fair, minus the "Throwing out the Pot"

:h Brandy